Sharing the Love

2009-02-25T15:13:00.009-05:00

Welcome!

We're so happy you're here!

We hope this site will help you get to know our family as you consider an adoption plan.

Use the sidebars to the right and left to explore more about our family and our feelings about adoption. We're excited to share!

One of the hard parts of technology is the difficulty we find in expressing our love and appreciation for you. And though we can't say it enough, you are loved by our family.

So please,

Kick off your shoes, pull up a chair, and make yourselves comfortable!

P.S. To contact us, you can:
1. Send us an email directly or click on the "contact us" button in the upper-left; or
1. Use the contact page on our profile at ParentProfiles.com; or
2. Use the contact page on our profile at ItsAboutLove.org; or
3. Email our LDS Family Services caseworker, Ed Van Gass, or give him a ring at (603)889-0148.

Our Promise to YOU

2009-02-25T14:09:00.001-05:00

Coming soon!

More About Ian

2009-02-25T14:07:00.005-05:00

Ian's personally became apparent mere minutes after we met him!

He's mostly a laid-back kind of boy with some quirks thrown in for fun. From the very beginning, his ability to be calm and flexible was amazing--especially to us, who were nervous first-time parents!

Ian loves to play--and he's recently started to pretend, which is always a fun thing to watch. Most recently, he used one of our subway passes that we keep on hand (for our occasional trips into the city) and opened up his play area as his "store." He'd approach us and ask, "What would you like to buy?" One or both of us would choose something and ask the cost...invariably, the answer is "Four dollars." Though, sometimes it's much more expensive. Can you tell that Ian is present on a lot of errand-running in our family?

He loves anything he can build with--legos, lincoln logs, unit blocks, or play dough. His attention span is lengthening, and he'll sit on the living room floor for HOURS just building and playing make-believe. Be careful, though, as another one of his favorite activities is knocking things down.

From before he was born, even, we began a collection of books that we add to as often as possible. We love reading together and he has the coveted role of "Chooser of the Books." =) We always read before nap time (though, "nap" time has now evolved into "sometimes it's nap time, and sometimes it's just quiet time"), and Ian's always anxious to say, "One more book, please," or "Mama, will you read to me some more?" It's a request that we have a very hard time refusing--and rarely do. His favorite books continue to be One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish, The Tale of Peter Rabbit, The Pokey Little Puppy, The Napping House, and Dr. Seuss's The Tooth Book.

Being outdoors is always fun for him, too. We live on the very end of a cul-de-sac, and our back yard is completely surrounded by "Conservation Land." This means that nothing can ever be built on this land, and we often feel like we live in the rural woods. =) Ian loves playing in the yard, helping to shovel snow, climbing on the rock wall, looking for deer or rabbits, and running races with our neighbor's little boy.

The newest discover he's made is about SCHOOL. Every day, he wants to "go to school," so we do activities that will get him ready to be a better reader. He knows all of his letters and the sounds they make--he can spell his name, and even write a few letters.

Most of all, Ian is happy. He makes hillarious jokes that have us in stitches, and he's able to find the bright side of any situation. He's going to make someone a fantastic big brother some day, that's for sure.

More About Joe

2009-02-25T14:07:00.004-05:00

What defines me? Well, I like to be with company, whether it be an audience for my occasionally lame punny jokes or to play strategy games or to weigh in on my stance on typically hot political topics. I never claim to be a funny guy or a clever strategist, or up on all the current events. But I do like to be involved.

I enjoy being involved in outdoor activities, through hiking, camping, kayaking, and recently geocaching and snowshoing. There is something about being outdoors that is liberating and enlightening. I try to be involved with volunteering with the boy scouts as a useful way to get out and also be able to share some of the knowledge I've gained.

I appreciate self-sufficiency, and have tried to learn how to do things the good old fashioned way. I like to garden, repair appliances, and mend clothes. When there's something I wish I had, I make goals to save money to make the purchase possible. I'm not afraid to do without a few luxuries now and again if it means I get closer to my goals.

I wish I had time to read more books, especially historical fiction. Part of me wonders what it REALLY was like centuries ago, and part of me is content to just imagine it through modern interpretations. I like to visit museums that highlight various ways of life. It really doesn't matter what type of museum it is really, as there are lots of things to learn regardless of the genre. I lived in England for two years as a LDS missionary, and felt considerable interest in how the people lived in that region over the past several millennia Surprisingly I watched an replay of a Jane Austin novel, and I loved it.

I was born and raised in Tennessee by a pair of loving parents. I am a second child, but an oldest son, so I have some of the independent streaks blended with the insecurities.

The Extended Family

2009-02-25T13:42:00.001-05:00

While we have lots of fun as a family of three, we are also part of a larger and quite fantastically silly (we might add) extended family.

Jen's Side

My side of the family is mostly located in New England, with some stragglers in Hawaii, Utah, Arizona, and Texas. We are a tight-knit family, and have some great family traditions that keep us tighter than ever.

{My cute parents, getting ready for Joe's graduation from BYU}

My parents, Scott and Heidi, are fantastic. They live in Maine with my siblings (who are all still at home, ages 14, 12, and 9), as well as with my grandparents, who have a nice little set-up there, too! We try to get together with them once a month--and it's not hard, as someone always has some sort of event--whether it be a birthday, recital, or other holiday--we love getting together. My siblings, (Hannah, Sean, and Natalie), love playing with Ian, and have relished being a young uncle and aunts. Equally, Ian loves the nonstop play that inevitably comes about when we're together.

{My siblings on Christmas morning in 2007}

My mother is a fantastic cook, and I always look forward to that aspect of our visits. I tease her that she's somewhat of a "food snob," only buying real butter, or King Arthur brand flour. The proof is (literally) in the pudding, however, because all of her meals (without exception) are delicious.

{Mom cooking breakfast....MMMMMMM}

Scott is my stepdad and works for the Federal Aviation Administration. (Ian's a big fan that his Papa gets to work with airplanes all day long). Papa assures Ian, however, that is usually less about airplanes and more about sitting behind a desk. =)

{with my family visiting my grandparents on Cape Cod, Memorial Day 2007}

I'm so lucky to have all of my grandparents living close by--with one set actually living with my parents, and the other here in Massachusetts. I had the distinct privilege of seeing my grandparents almost daily when I was growing up, and I will forever treasure their influence on my life during those formative years.

{My whole extended family, August 2008}

Aunts, uncles, and many cousins also live here in New England. I'm one of the oldest cousins (with only three cousins older than I), and we love getting together. Each year, we hold our yearly "Mitchell Family Fun Day," which has each family competing against the other in field games and other contests. My family always wins badminton....but don't even think that we're going to have a chance at horse shoes. My Uncle Mike was an actual farrier at one time, and so he and Aunt Becky's family always clean clocks in that event.

{My mom (in red) and her siblings in the potato sack race at Mitchell Family Fun Day 2008}

Joe's Side

Our Faith

2009-02-25T13:26:00.000-05:00

We are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

As we have grown and matured in our faith, we have seen so much happiness as a result. Because of the joy we find in life through the Gospel of Jesus Christ, we have chosen to raise our children to know and love the gospel. If you are not familiar with our faith, we hope you will take a few minutes to read more about it--as this is one of the best ways to get to know our family!

{Our family all together when Ian was sealed to us in the Boston Temple}

As members of the LDS Church we believe:

In the existence of a Heavenly Father who loves us all, individually
In the reality of a living Savior, Jesus Christ
That families and family relationships last beyond death
That God has a plan for us--and wants us to be happy

We believe that our family will be together forever, and that brings us such joy and comfort. We are grateful to be part of it.

If you want to know more about the LDS Church, you can visit this site and explore more about our faith.

{A forever family}

How We Met

2009-02-25T13:15:00.001-05:00

{Our first date, October 1999}

We met in the fall of 1999, as freshmen at Brigham Young University. We lived in neighboring dorms and were fast friends. In fact, somehow, the stars aligned and we went on our first date that very semester--to a BYU Homecoming dance...and then....well....we didn't go on a second date (anytime soon, that is). We were best friends, and why complicate that with dating, right? We coached each other through our own dating experiences, studied for classes we took together, and went on lots of group dates--with other people. We were each other's confidant, and loved it.

{the romantic coincidence of showing up with the same shirt}

And then Joseph left on his mission--spending the next two years as an LDS Missionary in London, England. Over those two years, Jen kept on dating, made new friends, and continued at BYU....but Joe was always on the forefront! Apparently we both came to our senses during Joseph's mission, and as soon as he was back in Provo, we started dating. We went on our second date almost 3 years after the first, which always gives us both a little chuckle. =) Nearly 8 months to the day that our romance began, we were married in the Boston Massachusetts LDS Temple, on April 29, 2003.

{The perfect day....April 29, 2003...Married in Boston}

In Our Spare Time

2009-02-25T12:37:00.001-05:00

{Jen and Ian learning about teeth at the Boston Museum of Science}

OH HOW WE LOVE MASSACHUSETTS! Living here has given us SO many opportunities to be out and about and having fun together as a family. We make it a regular habit to check local websites to see what's going on during the up-coming weekend. Some of our most memorable family outings have come as last-minute, gee-that-sounds-really-fun moments!

{Joe and Ian checking out some maple sap buckets in NH}

In the 20 months we've lived here, we've discovered a love for polo, learned how maple syrup is made, discovered the beauty of New Hampshire's White Mountains at the peak of autum, watched artists sculpt sand in the blistering heat, seen a Broadway musical, headed out on many a camping trip, signed up Ian for his first YMCA class, and many, many more things. Boston has so much to offer, and we love exploring everything local tourism has waiting for us.

{A family picnic overlooking the city in Cambridge, MA}

Family time is our greatest priority, so spending time together is of great importance to us. Quite often, we'll dump out all of Ian's lincoln logs and just play....other times, we'll get out our bikes and explore our neighborhood. Ian and Joseph both have snow shoes, and have loved getting outside this winter for some trail-walks. Heaven knows we have plenty of snow for it. =)

{Bike rides with Dad are always relaxing}

We love to play games and get together with friends....We love dominoes, Scrabble, Boggle, Password, Carcassonne, Settlers of Catan, Bang!, Bohnanza, and a myriad of other fun games that get stashed in the coat closet. Ian is starting his own collection, and loves to play memory, Chutes and Ladders, Candy Land, and "make a match," (which is his name for dominoes).

{Camping in Tennessee soon after our wedding}

Sometimes we'll simply hop in the car and go exploring to new neighborhoods or towns in the area....other times, we stay at home for quiet evenings in. Some things are constant, though: dinner together at the table every night, grocery shopping for Ian and Jen on Monday mornings, and bath times and the bedtime routine with Ian and Joe.

{Father-son bonding reading on the couch}

Our local library has been a great source of fun--especially on those inevitable rainy days in the summer, and snowy gray days in the winter. Ian loves to walk the aisles and point out the letters and sounds he knows. The library also offers discount passes to local museums and cultural events--through which we've loved making regular trips to the Boston Museum of Science, Children's Museum, New England Aquarium, and the local zoo. The ease of public transportation (and fun, for sure) makes occasional Saturdays fun "downtown" days. Ian sure loves to ride on the train!

{Joseph and Ian with greasy, greasy hands after working on the car}

We love to travel whenever we can--often going as a family on Joe's business trips. Our favorite trips of 2008 included Washington, D.C. and England.

{Charting the progress of one of our Utah summer vegetable gardens}

We also love to garden. When we lived in Utah, we had a bright, sunny back yard which afforded us a thriving garden. We loved being able to nurture it and take care of it--it was a blast. Our house in Massachusetts, however, has a very shaded yard, so a full-fledged vegetable garden isn't possible. BUT. We've loved being able to learn about container gardening on the porch, as well as bringing our hobbies indoors as we've learned about growing our own herbs and other plants.

{Ian watching a sheep herding demonstration at a local festival}

We mostly just like spending time together...that's the most important thing, right? And while we all have our individual hobbies (which you can read in our own 'about me' sections), we get the most happiness out of exploring life together.

Why We Choose Adoption

2009-02-25T11:56:00.002-05:00

It wasn't long after we were married--maybe a year or so--that we were diagnosed with infertility. We were 22 or 23 then, just finishing college, but we had always wanted to be parents.

Adoption was our first choice and has been a great blessing. The relationships and partnerships we've forged have been invaluable, and we've never regretted it. Quite the opposite, actually!

Our chosen agency was LDS Family Services, and they had a rule that all of their adoptive couples must be married for at least two years. We can tell you with absolute certainty that the year between our infertility diagnosis and our second anniversary dragged on and on and on. =) We were so excited, in fact, for our second anniversary to arrive that we scheduled our first appointment with our caseworker on our anniversary. We suppose that most couples probably wouldn't find mountains of paperwork to be a romantic way to celebrate, but we were so excited. To this day, it's one of our most fondly-remembered anniversary celebrations.

As we have grown and matured in our role as adoptive parents, we more deeply understand how much love plays into this process. It's a privilege to have children who have love coming from so many directions.

We love adoption. It has made us a family of three, and we're excited to grow.

{Our first 'adoption collage' for LDS Family Services, 2005}

Openness in Adoption

2009-02-25T11:40:00.000-05:00

It's easy for an adoptive couple to feel those pangs of hesitation when considering the amount of openness they desire after they're placed with a child. We know those feelings because we felt them! In the months prior to connecting with Valerie, we spent a good deal of time hem-ing and haw-ing about how "close" we want to be to our children's birth parents and birth families.

But do you know what we discovered?

All of our hesitations, all of our insecurities, all of our hems and haws...well....they disappeared the MOMENT we met Valerie. What we both knew and felt was that this was a partnership. Valerie would always be a mother. We would always be Ian's parents.

What we knew from that moment forward was that Valerie was giving us the gift of parenthood. It was only our pleasure to recognize and celebrate her parenthood as well.

No longer do adopted children and their birth parents need to have questions: Where did I come from? Did my birth mother love me? Does my baby know who I am? Are they happy and healthy and well taken care-of?

Knowing about his birth mom has made Ian a confident and more loved child. We believe in open adoption--so much so, that we practically cheered out loud when Ian saw someone who greatly resembled Valerie and gave the lookalike a giant bear-hug. It was a very defining moment for our family. At the tender age of almost-3, Ian's first reaction to Valerie's face is that of love and all-out giddiness.

And while we believe in the great benefits of an open adoption, we also respect your desires and expectations. All adoptions are different, as are the people involved. We want you to know that we will do everything we can to make sure that your child feels your love--that's our goal as a family. And however it is that we all decide to do that--well, it benefits everyone. We're in this together.

Our Promise to YOU

2009-02-24T21:36:00.002-05:00

Should you choose to place your child with our family, we will always respect and honor your wishes and desires for privacy. That being said, your child will always, always know that they have a birth family who loves them, and who make up a very important part of their identity.

We're raising our son, Ian, to always know that he is adopted and that he is special because of it. We never want him to remember "finding out" that he's adopted--because it's always been part of who he is. He knows that he has a birth family and he knows that he is loved by more people than he can even count. Our next adopted child will be no different. Their very identity will be shaped knowing that adoption truly is about love.

We look forward to many conversations about openness--as each adoption is unique--and we hope that you will want to express your love to your child through the means you feel comfortable.

You will be an honored and respected person in our family. We can say that with complete certainty. Please know that we love you and are so excited to get to know you.

So with all of this in mind, please know that our promise to you is that we will always keep our promises. Through open and honest communication with you, through honest feedback and the inevitable course-corrections and evolution that our relationship with you will make as it grows and matures, we will always keep our promises. We hope you will feel equally comfortable sharing your thoughts on the things that may or may not make you comfortable and we hope to be a trustworthy soundboard for your ideas, hopes, and dreams for you and your baby. Through this kind of two-way communication, we know with absolute confidence that this relationship will grow in all the ways it should.

Adoption is about a partnership for the benefit of the child. That's what it's really all about--making all of our choices for the happiness of these children.

About Jen

2009-02-24T19:34:00.001-05:00

{Playing in the pool with my mum...}

I was born and raised in Maine--and love, love, loved it. Unlike many, lived in the same home from the day I came home from the hospital as a newborn, until the day I boarded a plane for college. But, looking back on my family history (on my mother's side), I should also disclose that I grew up in the same town that was settled by my ancestors. I suppose transiency just isn't in my blood--and I love my deep roots.

{The first day of kindergarten}

I began piano lessons in the second grade--a talent I pursued with much coaxing, prodding, and the sheer determination of my mother. It's the classic tale: girl takes piano lessons, girl hates to practice, girl's mother urges her efforts, girl finally falls in love with playing the piano. The catch? It was nearly a 20-year process. =)

{gathering eggs with my little sister, Hannah, at my parents' house}

As I got older, I took interest in music, and played the French horn. I took part in All-State bands and choirs and also enjoyed learning jazz piano. In high school, I took part in the marching band, student government, tennis, and other musical and civic organizations....but really, really, I was most looking forward to going to college.

{Making pumpkin rolls}

In 1999, I headed to Brigham Young University--which would prove to be a wise decision. Within my first week there, I met Joseph (as well as the dear friends who continue to be an integral part of my life).

{Eating a "tongan pancake" (long story) with friends}

Going to BYU would change the entire trajectory of my life, and I'm so glad I was able to spend four years as a student, two as a full-time employee after I graduated, and another nearly-two years as a member of the BYU community.

{At my graduation from BYU with Joseph and my siblings, 2004}

My undergraduate degree is in Geography, and I have a minor in English--both were exceedingly interesting...even (dare I say it?) FUN! I graduated in 2004, and immediately went to work for BYU's Marriott School of Management.

{Making eyes at my husband with an overtly ridiculous pair of sunglasses}

I really wish there were more hours in the day--Sometimes I think my husband wishes I'd pare down my list of hobbies....because, most of the time, "hobbies" = "stuff lying around the guest room." =) My first love is cooking--nothing gets me going more than high-quality ingredients and daring new recipes. Most of the time, my endeavors are successful...but......sometimes....my husband is backed into that "what-do-I-say-now?" corner. =) I appreciate his honesty, though--he's the best food critic I know.

{hiking in Moab, Utah}

I love to travel (that's the geography bug in me) and experience new places. We have a precious few years to travel with Joseph on business before Ian goes to school, and we take every opportunity we can. I just feel badly that Joseph is in so many meetings while Ian and I are having perfectly wonderful vacations. Living in Massachusetts has been one of the BEST sources of our travel bug, and we've been able to be resident-tourists at least once a month, if not more.

{hiking "the Y" in Provo, UT}

I have a lot of hobbies that I'm not very good at, but that I really enjoy....Sewing, crocheting, and knitting are a few examples of hobbies that tend to go terribly awry, but with which I have tons of fun! I've been nurturing my blog for nearly three years now, and I love the creative outlet it affords me. I'm always part-way through reading a book, even when it takes me months to complete.

{Taking Ian on his first walk}

Most of all, I love being a mother. In it I find my greatest source of joy and more fulfillment than I could find anywhere else. I know what it's like to have an attentive, nurturing mother, and so I do my best to mother Ian the very best I can. I won't lie--there are some days when I'm in sweat pants until mid-afternoon and by early evening, there are times when I think to myself, "Huh. Did I put on deodorant today?" There are other days when I can tell that Ian's had just about enough of me, and can't wait for Daddy to come home... =) But even on those days, there are still joys to be found--and Ian is especially good at making me laugh. I sure love him.

There are lots more things I love....and I make it a point to make an annual list. You can find them here and here.

2009-02-24T17:46:00.001-05:00

Welcome!

We're so happy you're here!

We hope this site will help you get to know our family as you consider an adoption plan.

Use the sidebar to the right to explore more about our family. We're excited to share!

One of the hard parts of technology is the difficulty we find in expressing our love and appreciation for you. And though we can't say it enough, you are loved by our family.

So please,

Kick off your shoes, pull up a chair, and make yourselves comfortable!

A Note from Ian's Birth Mom

2009-02-24T17:10:00.002-05:00

Dear friend,

The decision to place my son for adoption forever changed my life. My decision, like yours, was incredibly difficult and emotional, but I cannot tell you how grateful I am for the love that has grown from that choice.

My friendship with Jen and Joe began several months before Ian was born, and they were soon an invaluable part of my life. Their love and compassion for me spoke loudly for the love and care they would show for their children. Since Ian's birth, my relationship with this little family has changed and matured. But I am always happy and excited to see new pictures of Ian, to read Jen's stories of the crazy little things he says and does. I am able to see my son grow and know without a hint of doubt that he is happy and growing up to be a genius.

It really is all about love. It's not about loss and separation anymore--it's about an enormous, ever-growing circle of love, centered on that little life of your child. This family will embrace their children with all the love they possess, but we get to love them too.

I hope and pray that you will be comforted as you make these decisions, and that you will know the excitement we all have to expand this circle of love.

Your fellow birthmother,
Valerie

Misc. Pictures of Ian

2009-01-03T22:04:00.016-05:00

Misc. Pictures of Jen

2009-01-03T21:59:00.005-05:00

Misc. Pictures of Joseph

2009-01-03T21:49:00.009-05:00

Family Pictures

2009-01-03T21:44:00.004-05:00

Extended Family

2009-01-03T21:31:00.000-05:00

Ian with his Granddaddy, Joe's dad.

Joe's brother, Ben, on his birthday

Joe's stepdad, Joe, and Jen's Uncle Mike

Ian and his Uncle Sean, meeting for the first time

At an Easter Egg Hunt with Ian's great-grandmother, GG

Joseph's sister, Shara, and her husband, Trevor

Aunt Shara with Ian

Ian with his Grandmama (Joseph's mom) at the fair

Ian with his great-grandpa, Joe's grandpa

At an extended family gathering on Joe's side

Joe and his brother, Ben, carving the Thanksgiving turkey

Joe, Ben, and Ian at a BYU baseball game

Ian with his great-gram, Jen's grandmother

Joseph with his cousin, Joy, and babies Ian and Luke

Ian with Joe's cousin, Becca

Ian and Granddaddy

Ian and Grandmama

Ian cuddling with Papa (Jen's stepdad)

Ian with Great-Grandpa

Ian, Papa, and Great-Papa

Ian with his other Great Papa (Jen's grandfather)

Ian with his second cousins, twins Owen and Clara

Some of Jen's cousins and uncle playing foosball

Ian and Great Papa on the John Deere Tractor

Four generations

Ian with Jen's sister and cousins

Ian with Joe's cousin, Vic, whom he calls "Uncle Cousin Vic"

Our Recent Trip to Seattle

2009-01-03T10:17:00.000-05:00

We love when we get the opportunity to travel with Joseph on business trips. At the beginning of April, Ian and I were able to tag along to Seattle, Washington where Joe was presenting at a conference. We have family and family friends in the area, and reunions abounded. It was a FANTASTIC trip. (And Ian is ALWAYS up for a good ride on an airplane). =)

Photos and Videos

2009-01-02T15:56:00.007-05:00

Click the links below to browse some of our family's favorite photos and videos!

Joseph's LDS Mission to England
Our Wedding
Our Marriage: The Early Years
College Graduations
Ian's Adoption
Photos of Christmases Past
Extended Family
Family Pictures
Misc. Pictures of Joseph
Misc. Pictures of Jen
Misc. Pictures of Ian
*NEW!* Our recent trip to Seattle!

Videos

Videos

2009-01-01T16:07:00.000-05:00

Halloween 2006

Joe goes turkey bowling

Ian learns to walk

Ian helps clean the fridge on moving day

Ian does "Wheels on the Bus"

Ian really REALLY loves the swings

Joe likes to play 4-square with his friends...nothing like four grown men playing a schoolyard game. =)

We were thrilled when Ian learned how to use a fork

Ian discovers the power of gravity

Happy 2nd birthday to Ian!

Here's Jen's mom and her mom's siblings during a very controversial potato sack race at Family Fun Day last year

We were floored when Ian learned "The Books in the Book of Mormon" song at 2 1/2

Ian LOVED decorating the Christmas tree this past Christmas

Ian's Adoption

2009-01-01T15:53:00.000-05:00

Our Marriage's Early Years

2009-01-01T15:50:00.000-05:00

Photos of Christmases Past

2009-01-01T15:46:00.000-05:00

College Graduations

2009-01-01T15:39:00.000-05:00

Jen:
B.S. in Geography, 2004, Brigham Young University

Joe:
B.S. in Mechanical Engineering, 2005, Brigham Young University
M.S. in Mechanical Engineering, 2007, Brigham Young University

Joseph's LDS Mission to England

2009-01-01T15:37:00.000-05:00

Our Wedding

2009-01-01T15:35:00.000-05:00